How to... pick up women in a UAE nightclub

No sarcasm intended, this method genuinely works.

October 13, 2014

There's two main reasons above all others that men go to clubs in the UAE. Firstly, they want to dance. Secondly, they want to meet women. Maybe not in that order. Fair enough. But while numero uno is only dependent on you not having two left feet, meeting members of the opposite sex can be slightly more tricky. However, spend an evening in one of the country's better-known, franchised clubs and we guarantee you will see at least one group of guys attracting women like moths to a flame with a simple three step method...and it goes like this:

1. Pay for a table - preferably the best table in the place with optimum angles to stare and to be stared at.

2. Order at least half a dozen, Jeroboam-sized bottles of champagne with sparklers fizzing out the top, and have them delivered to your table buy a bevy of attractive waitresses.

3. Wait... No, seriously. If you've done 1 and 2 correctly, all you need to do now is sit and wait for the oestrogen-fuelled moths to arrive. Easy, right?

Now we should say at this point, employing this method of picking up women won't be successful with ALL women. The kind of girl who thinks the above is 21st Century romanticism in motion is unlikely to be the one you're going to take home to meet your parents. Or maybe we're wrong and that's exactly the kind of lady you're looking for. In which case, good luck to you...just make sure she signs a pre-nup. If however you desire to meet a woman more along the lines of Elizabeth Taylor than Kim Karadashian, then, well I'm afraid you're not going to meet her on the UAE's nightclub circuit. 

Our suggestion is to give up your Friday nights to a new hobby. Learn to cook, take up a second language, excel at a sport. It is through doing things you love that you will meet a woman who's worth buying a normal-sized bottle of champagne for. But during a romantic dinner for two, not over a drink-covered table in a club so loud you have to yell your well-thought-out sweet nothings into her ear.