Prospective fathers, you will read lots of baby books before the birth. You will fold over corners on important pages, you will scribble notes in the margin and highlight key passages in orange. You will study those paragraphs like you have an exam coming up. Then, when your baby arrives you will never look at those books again and instead use them as footstools when you’re on the sofa holding your snoozing baby.
Your first attempt to fasten a baby onesie or change a nappy will take several infuriating minutes as you fumble like a polar bear trying to tie his shoelaces. But after a few practice runs your fingers will achieve new levels of dexterity as they dance up and down those tabs and poppers like a pianist playing Rachmaninoff.